[Post-Match Thoughts] Regrets Make it Hard to Look at the Big Picture (Sailors 2 Persib Bandung 3)
Fuck fuckity fuck. Fucking fucked-up fuckfest of a fucking end to a fucking football game. Fuck! You’ll hopefully forgive me for that expletive-laden start to this post. That was probably what was going through my mind on that night in Jalan Besar, which was more than a couple of nights ago now, but is still fresh in my head. And if you thought that was what was going through my mind when we conceded the third goal, you’d be wrong. That was what was going through my mind when we conceded the SECOND goal. The third goal? Well, my mind just went fucking blank. How does that happen? (If you are offended by the use of the F word, it’s your chance to close this page now, there may be more coming. Also, if this graphic triggers you, maybe don’t continue as well.) Sigh. It absolutely does not help that we looked fucking imperious in the first half. It’s like you’re eating this decadent chocolate cake oozing with goodness, and as you carry on eating, the chocolate sauce continues to ooze out from the middle of the cake. Just when you’re about to finish the cake, you realise though, that right in the middle, wasn’t actually a ball of chocolate sauce – it was a fucking alive but gangrenous rat having a fucking mad bout of fucking chocolate diarrhoea. I am sorry for that visual, but hey, I was forced to sit through some real terrible trauma last week, and I suspect if you are reading this, you were too. This is part of your therapy. Never too early to start. Before we talk about why it went down like that, let’s focus on the trauma a little first. The Trauma You’d think as an Arsenal fan I’d be used to trauma. 8-2 loss to Manchester United, 2-1 loss in the 2006 Champions League final, 6-0 loss to Chelsea in Arsene Wenger’s 1000th game, the list goes on. But a comeback like that that leaves me with flashbacks days after? I think it only really happened to me after the 2014 Suzuki Cup group stage match against Malaysia. Remember this game? To add on to Straits Times’s succinct summary, Safee Sali got Malaysia a goal and so we needed an equaliser. We got the equaliser in the 83rd minute through Khairul Amri, and it looked like we were going through to the knockout stages. But in stoppage time, the referee awarded a crazy penalty kick, and that was then followed by an empty-net goal after Hassan Sunny had joined the attack. The National Stadium was packed with 48000+ fans – imagine that. There was an explosion of emotion when we got into the equaliser. That was us going to the knockout stages! And then came the absolute sucker-punch. I can still remember Indra Putra running around the Sportshub after he made it 3-1. The Malaysian fans went mad in the stands as well. Don’t remember it? Well you can go watch it again. To be in a stadium with 48000 other Lions fans, and suffer such trauma together, I couldn’t forget that easily. I remember as well how usually well-behaved Singaporeans started throwing bottles at the referee after the final whistle – it got so bad that they transported out the tunnel and the referee had to be escorted off with the moving tunnel. I remember every minute, every image, every word uttered by those around me on that night. And I hoped never to relive that again. But such are the ups and downs of football – 10 years later, I am given the privilege of seeing Persib Bandung fans going mad in the stands, Persib’s bench players running onto the pitch before the match was over, because they knew, the match WAS over. Sheer ecstasy and disbelief, etched on each of every one of those faces. Walking out of the stadium and having to congratulate every Persib fan I see because I know if I didn’t, they would mock me. So, just congratulate them first to avoid the mocking. Still didn’t stop one fool running at me from distance shouting “WE WIN WE WIN HAHAHAHA BYE BYE SAILORS”. Fuck him. The memory as well of knowing that Port FC had scored a late winner against Zhejiang, which meant that if we could hold on to our 2-1 lead, we would have secured qualification to the next round. And then to have it all go wrong in the space of a few fucking minutes. As I type this, I know these memories will stay with me a long time. I didn’t write about the match back then though, because I didn’t have a blog or a website or anything. Maybe now that I have a website and I can share my thoughts with you guys, it will help with the recovery process. Ok so where did it all go wrong? Too Passive in Second Half? This has been mentioned many times by the fans after the game. And I think it’s quite true – but I only half-agree with it. We took off Shawal in the 65th minute. I understand that Shawal has issues with his body – Coach Ranko spoke about this at the pre-match press conference. Shawal gave us a good hour, and our opening goal of the night. What a brilliant goal it was too, but it will now join the ranks of Maxime’s brilliant curler against Tampines Rovers at OTH – goals that we cannot truly enjoy because we remember the shitty result that came with it. To be honest, at 65 minutes, with Persib barely threatening us, I genuinely thought it was an OK decision to bring in some experience. We can’t be hindsight merchants and now say that perhaps Ranko should have tried to replicate Shawal’s attacking effort upfront with someone like Abdul Rasaq or Haiqal Pashia. Hindsight is 20/20 and you don’t wanna be that fan that is always saying “I