May 8, 2024

So after the excitement of lifting the Community Shield, we finally have the real season opener, a match with proper consequences, the first chance to get 3 points on the board. What can we expect from a heavily-revamped Hougang United? Let’s dive right into it. Still no Kiki Krajcek As has been mentioned on this site many times before, Krajcek is the heartbeat of this Hougang team. No Krajcek, no party. The only time they managed to even escape defeat against us without Krajcek was last season in the Singapore Cup when we had all but qualified from the group stage and we fielded an almost-entirely-local starting XI. Well Krajcek is still out, and is not expected to make his return for a couple of months still. He has been out and about doing community work for the team, but we understand from the Hougang fans that he will not be playing this week. His absence is perhaps going to be less fatal this time as compared to last season, because Shahdan has been getting some minutes in pre-season, and also because of a signing that has largely been slept on – Shodai Yokoyama. For me, Shodai Yokoyama was one of the standouts in last year’s Albirex team. A left-footed Steven Gerrard. Capable of scoring off late runs into the box, or with belters from range. Last year, he scored a total of 7 goals (if you count the Community Shield), and got 8 assists. That’s a very healthy goal contribution rate. They don’t have Zulfahmi Arifin anymore and so will miss his left foot, but in my opinion, Shodai is more than an adequate replacement. Some of his goals for you to check out. Here, here, and here. The Unknown Strikers I know jackshit about Hougang’s new strikers, Petar Banovic and Stjepan Plazonja. Let’s first check out what our friends from hougangunitedfans.com have to say about them. As part of my due diligence, I didn’t take what the Hougang fans said as gospel. I also did a real deep dive. No actually I didn’t. I pulled up a Youtube video set to shitty techno music. Of course, such compilation videos you have to take with a huge pinch of salt. What I’d add to their summaries, is that Stjepan Plazonja really really reminds me of Lukas Podolski. Booming left foot? Check. One-dimensional running without any tricks up his sleeve? Check. One-footedness which means no shots on the right foot, ever? Check. But let’s really not allow him to use his left foot in the box, lads. It is very lethal. He’s also really quite fast. He likes to push and run a lot, so we’re gonna have to be wary of that. It’s quite a sight, really, seeing someone so tall sprint so much! Petar Banovic – has a decent goalscoring record in the Prva Liga FBIH. But it’s hard to know how that translates to SPL prowess. Probably not as hard as trying to pronounce “Prva Liga FBIH” without sounding like you are replicating a fart in amateurish fashion – but still hard. We’ve spoken before about how Sime Zuzul had a shit record before coming to Singapore shores and tearing it up. Đorđe Maksimović as well, who has of course, left Hougang, did really well last season but thankfully is no longer around. So goalscoring records in other leagues don’t really tell the full story. For context, in case you are an expert in obscure European leagues, Prva Liga FBIH is the first division of the Federation of Bosnia and Herzegovina. Both of them are really tall too, by the way. One is 1.88m, while the other is 1.92m. It’s good that Lionel is playing rightback, because I think they are going to rely on the long diagonal into the air for their twin towers to attack. If Hafiz Nor is played there, then we’re really left to making sure we get to the second balls from the knockdowns. And I am sure Datkovic will share some banter with this duo as well. Let’s hope it gets spicy! The Unknown Centreback (no plural this time) There is no plural this time because one of the centrebacks is Ensar Bruncevic (usually referred to as Bruno in his time at Balestier Khalsa). He did not really impress last time out, and was almost always referred to as one of the worst foreigners in the league. Has he improved? Well I don’t know because I don’t watch the Serbian Super League. And even if I did, I don’t think I’d be able to glean much, seeing as he only made a handful of appearances. But it’s not likely to matter much – because it’s not like Hougang’s Japanese pair at the back were super impressive. So if he does an average job, then there won’t be much of a difference to last season. Unless of course, his partner, Faris Hasic, is really solid. He’s a 20 year old centreback, hailing once again from the Prva Liga FBIH. Unlike Ensar, he actually started a whole bunch of games. And just like Plazonja above, I did the dirty work, I sat through a video set to some shitty music. Let me clarify that statement. Faded by Alan Walker is not a shitty song. But stupid remixes of the song? Yes, shitty. Football compilation videos love to use the song “Faded“, which is ironic. “Faded” shouldn’t be used on a promising young centreback. It should be used on people like Pogba, or Casemiro, or Varane, or Maguire, or Erik Ten Hag. Ok you get the point, I don’t really like Manchester United. Faded can also be used on our 2022 title challenge after we sacked Kim Do Hoon. Ooof. #toosoon I digress. Back to the point – Faded by Alan Walker is an OK song, but football compilation videos tend to use shitty remixes of it in their video. This offending video even manages to use TWO different stupid shitty remixes of